“I

often do not behave well with my seven-year-old son, especially in public
facilities, because every time I think my son is misbehaving,” says Syrian
mother Mariam Abdullah, who lives in Düsseldorf “but I
later discovered that it was normal and happens to all mothers with a different cultural background.” 

There are no statistics about the suffering of refugee

mothers in the concept of dealing with children at home in general and in
public facilities in particular, but these attitudes are constant during the
day. The mother who takes her child daily to school is psychologically ready to
be exposed to some of the positions that her child will present on the way or after school, especially with regard to what the child always asks. This is
not good for many mothers to deal with so far, believing that their children’s
actions are wrong and they have to intensify the lessons of daily guidance,
forgetting that these lessons are more pressure only.

The mother, Rogen Said, is one of those mothers

who had made the same mistake: “My son sometimes was speaking loudly in the
buses  while I was coming back from
school, and each time I felt that everyone was staring at me and blaming me for
my bad education. So I was all the way 

watching the tone of my child’s voice and alerting him to keep calm to
discover later that it is the nature of the child to speak sometimes loud and
those are not signs of poor education.” 

Many of you may notice that when you ride public

transport in the city, most of the refugee mothers constantly monitor their
children’s movements, while some prevent their children from moving. This
infuriates the child and thus leads to more psychological trauma. In this
regard, N. Alrawie , a mother of two children “My little son was
always crying in the way, because I prevent him from the excess movement, I was
convinced that these movements are signs that the child is not behaving
well.”  

Where does this concept come from?

To answer this question, we randomly surveyed many

refugee families living in Düsseldorf and asked the same question. Most of the
answers focused on the following: The mothers who recently came to Germany believe that

the German child is always calm everywhere and in a simple comparison with

their children, the difference will be vast without any doubt. So there is a

defect in education and we must find a solution quickly before the child is lost

in the maze of wrong education. This

is the prevailing thinking among the majority of mothers, but in contrast there

is a percentage of mothers do not care about it at all. They justify their

position, that, it is the way children live.

 “All the

children behave like this, screaming and crying and smiling, but with some
noise,” says Mrs. Haj Hussein. 

What specialists

say? And what you say?

Some websites have published some tips on the subject based on reports from

organizations and agencies responsible for raising children. Specialists do not
consider this condition to be a child care syndrome, but it is often due to
lack of educational culture, and mothers have to ask the bodies that help
families in this regard. But there are some questions for readers who have an
idea on the subject: How well do you know this situation? Have you encountered
or met similar situations? In your opinion how should mothers deal with this
problem?